


When She Loved Me

by AndrastesChosen



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Actor Do Kyungsoo | D.O, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Insecurity, Irene is a good bro, Kyungsoo is kind of a jerk in at first, Second Lead Suho, will update tags as I add smut and such
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-29
Updated: 2018-09-29
Packaged: 2019-07-20 09:43:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16134671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AndrastesChosen/pseuds/AndrastesChosen
Summary: Kyungsoo wishes he'd known how much she meant to him before she'd left.





	When She Loved Me

Kyungsoo released a relieved sigh when his doorbell rang, even going so far as to put a genuine smile on his face when he answered the door. 

“You came.”

Crystal grinned, her eyes alight with curiosity as she came inside and kicked off her shoes. 

“I said I would, didn’t I? What’s got you acting so funny? Why did you practically order me to come here?” She plops on the sofa next to him and grins.

Kyungsoo snorts them chews his lip as he thought about the best way to word this.

“So, you know how Irene and I broke up only three weeks ago, right? She’s seeing someone else already, and she wants to go on a double date because “she wants to stay friends and thinks I’ll get along with Chanyeol.” Can you believe her? Three weeks after dumping me and she, what? Wants to rub it in my face?” 

Crystal’s face had long since lost the sunny smile she’d walked in here with and was now sporting an expression that rivaled one of his own blank ones. She cleared her throat and played with the edge of her shirt. 

“That is pretty messed up. So you want me to pretend to be your date?” 

Kyungsoo sighed and nodded. He knew she’d get it. 

“Yeah. I wouldn’t have bothered you with this, but you’re my last hope. I tried calling Joy, but she’s seeing someone and didn’t want to chance any misunderstandings. And I was going to ask Jennie, but I remembered telling Irene that she was a lesbian before, so I’m pretty sure that wouldn’t work. I know I can count on you, though, right?” Kyungsoo explains as he picks up her hand and pierces her with his best puppy dog eyes. The look had gotten him his way many times, and it was sure to work on her now. 

Hurt flashed in her eyes for a second before her blank stare returned and she sighed loudly. 

“Of course. You know I’m there for you, Soo. But she knows me, so how are we going to explain that?”

“Simple. After she left me, you were there for me, and it opened my eyes to what was right in front of me, and now we’re in love. It’s not that far of a stretch. You were there for me afterward, and we care about each other, we’ll just be adding a layer of lovey-dovey bullshit.”

“ _Bullshit_. Right. When is it?” Her flat tone of voice worried Kyungsoo a little bit. 

“It’s tonight at six. Is that alright? You didn’t have any plans?” 

“It’s fine. So what’s the goal? Just make her jealous as hell? I don’t want to be mean to her, because she’s been one of the few girls you’ve dated that was really nice to me.” 

“That, and if she ends up crawling back to me after that would work too.” 

Crystal snorts and quickly heads back to the door and slides her shoes on. 

“You don’t have to leave so soon, do you? I can make us lunch, and we can plan a strategy. And didn’t you say on the phone you had something you wanted to get my opinion on?” 

“I might have figured it out on my own. I actually had some things to do, but send me the location, and I’ll meet you wherever we’re supposed to go tonight. You’re the great actor Do Kyungsoo. I’m sure you can handle a little improv.”

“Good point. Thanks for doing this, you’re the best. See you there.”

Crystal merely nods before closing the door behind her. Kyungsoo sighs happily. This was going to work out perfectly.

 

They sat across from Irene and Chanyeol in a diner that Kyungsoo used to take Irene to on a regular basis. Kyungsoo was deeply offended by her choosing this spot, but not more than he was about the man she’d replaced him with. 

Chanyeol was his opposite in every way. Tall where he was short. Energetic to his calm. Clumsy to his careful. Emotional to his stoic. Worse still, she was apparently into PDA with this guy, whereas during their time together handholding in public was practically risque. Had she been that unhappy with him that she’d choose someone completely different? 

Irene cleared her throat as her surprised gaze flickered between Kyungsoo and Crystal. 

“Wow. I never saw this coming so soon. I mean, I knew Crystal liked you, but I had thought it would take a while longer for you to like her back.” 

Kyungsoo sighs dramatically and puts on his best heart eyes as he picks up Crystal’s hand, staring down at her in adoration. 

“I guess I just realized who had been there for me all this time. You breaking up with me was a blessing, really, since I was able to lift the veil from my eyes and see her for the treasure she is.”

Crystal harshly pulled her hand away and stared at Irene. 

“What do you mean you knew?” She asks in a soft, trembling voice. Kyungsoo quirks an eyebrow in surprise. What was wrong? 

Irene giggles lightly, waving a hand in the hair. “Everyone knew, even Kyungsoo knew you had a crush on him. We all thought it was cute how you’d come running when he asked you too, or when you took care of him like a mother hen. You guys are adorable together.” 

Crystal turns to Kyungsoo, and he’s alarmed by the pure devastation in her eyes as she stares at him. 

“You knew? This whole time, you knew?”

“I...well, after everyone kept pointing it out it was hard  _not_ to know.”

“And what? You laughed about it? Dumb little Crystal trotting along after you like a damn puppy. Did you keep me around to boost your ego?”

Kyungsoo’s eyes widen with alarm as he looked between Irene and Crystal. This was going south fast, and he didn’t know how to fix it. 

“You know it’s not like that. You’ve been my friend, for real. I’ve only known about your thing for me for a couple years.” 

“ _My thing for you_. Okay. Is the real reason you asked me today? You figured I’m so fucking pathetic I’d jump at the chance to be your fake girlfriend?” 

“Fake? Kyungsoo? What have you done to the poor girl?” Irene butts in, glaring at Kyungsoo in irritation. This was so not how he pictured tonight.

Suddenly Crystal jumps out of her seat. “Congratulations on your new relationship, Irene. He seems like a nice man. I have to go now. Have a good evening.” 

Kyungsoo watches in horror as Crystal practically jogs out of the diner. A slap upside his head directs his attention back to Irene. He rubs his head and pouts as he meets Irene furious gaze. 

“Do Kyungsoo. I am so disappointed in you.”

“What? You expected me to show up here alone so you could rub your new man in my face?”

Kyungsoo felt the disgust in Irene’s eyes down into his very soul. 

“That is not what I had in mind, and you know very well I’m not that like. I genuinely thought we could stay friends. Do you know why I broke up with you? Because I realized Crystal loved you more than I ever would. I care about you, really, but that girl looks at you like you’re her reason for existing. I wanted that for myself, and I knew I’d never find that with you. If you want to at least salvage your friendship, you better go running after her. It looked to me like you finally broke the poor thing.” 

Kyungsoo nodded and stared his hands in shame. He didn’t want to hurt Crystal, she really was his friend. He’d just never thought of her that way.

“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry. And I’m sorry this is my first impression, Chanyeol.” 

Chanyeol grins and pats Kyungsoo on the shoulder. “Hey, no problem man. You  _are_ an actor after all. What better way to meet than with something dramatic?”

Irene’s eyes soften, and she pushes him out of his chair. “Go after her, Soo.”

He nods and jogs out of the diner, trying to figure out which way Crystal had gone. After walking a couple minutes, he finally spots the blue dress she’d worn in front of a pet shop. He runs to catch up and silently joins her in observing the rabbits playing in the window. 

“I’m sorry,” Kyungsoo whispers. 

“I know you are. You’d never do anything just to outright be mean to me, but you never factored in how it would make me feel. I’m just as human as you, Soo,” he winced as she answered him, the scratchy voice telling him she’d been crying.

“You are my friend. You’ve been my friend since that day in ninth grade. I didn’t realize you had feelings for me until a couple of years ago when the guys started joking about us being married and Irene mentioned that she was sure you had a thing for me. I promise I never knowingly took advantage. Just please tell me we’re still friends?”

“I can’t...I’m so tired, I can’t keep giving my all and still be your last choice. I’m not going to force you to care about me.” Crystal’s voice broke as a little sob escaped, making Kyungsoo feel like shit.

“Is that what you think? Do you think I don’t care about you?”

“I’m sure some part of you cares, but not enough. I’m always the last on your list. The one you go to when you can’t get the ones you want. And it’s killing me. I sound like a dramatic bitch, I know, but it hurts so much. I don’t even think I’m asking for much. Just for you to choose me. To want me without me being a replacement for someone else.” 

Kyungsoo stared at Crystal as despair filled his chest. He’d done this to her. 

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t know you felt that way. I didn’t mean to make you feel like that.” 

“I know you didn’t mean too, and that just makes it worse. Because you didn’t even stop to consider how I’d feel even once.  _I love you._  I always have and I probably always will, while I maybe cross your mind once a month when you are bored or need something from me. I’m very sorry to burden you with the knowledge of my feelings, but I guess it’s nice that you know before I leave.” 

“Leave? What do you mean?” 

“That’s what I was going to talk to you about this morning. I wasn’t sure if I was going to at first, but now I’m accepting Director Kim Junmyeon’s offer to be his Assistant Director. I’ll be in Europe for six months. I think this will be good for me, good for us. Maybe I’ll finally be able to move on so I won’t be such a bother for you.”

“Crystal, I’ve never thought you were a bother, stop putting words in my mouth. I care about you, you’re one of my best friends. If me asking you to do this was really too much, I apologize. You don’t have to leave the country because of it.” 

“ _Care_. You can’t even say the words to me in a platonic way, can you? Because I’m really not worthy of even that in your eyes. And you just skimmed right past everything I just said. You’re  _everything_ to me, and you only remember I exist when you need to make someone else jealous.” 

“Crystal, come on. You know it’s not like that. Please don’t leave things like this.”

Crystal finally turns to face him, and that look in her eyes shatters him. He’d taken this sweet girl and destroyed her. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying, lips red from her chewing on them. Her eyes were filled with such sorrow, more than he’d ever seen on another person before outside of movies. She reached up and cupped his cheek softly. 

“I love you, Kyungsoo. I hope you find what you’re looking for. Goodbye.”

Kyungsoo watched her walk away, wanting to run after her and convince her to stay. He couldn’t seem to make himself move, however, instead his eyes lingering on the blue dress getting farther and farther away from him. 

The soul-deep feeling that he’d just lost something as essential to him as breathing terrified him.


End file.
